34

The other day I was at my step grand mother's house. My step mother's lesbian cousin walked into the room bragging about her new hiking boots. It took all of my self control not to point and laugh.

33

I just woke up this morning and went outside for a smoke. I saw someone walking a dog and noticed how awesome that dog's coloration was. My first thought was 'that thing would make an awesome coat'.

32

I knew I was drunk when I put my beer to my mouth and missed.

31

I just picked my nose and wiped it on the ceiling. Being tall has its advantages.

30

Jahaha! I just put a girl in the friend zone! Score one for gender equality!

29

I told a girl on my Facebook that my anus was bleeding and she isn't talking to me anymore. I don't understand people some times.

A good example of folk metal:


Seriously. Shoot a deuce to this album if you want to feel like a champion.

28

Life is like a game of D&D.... and you rolled all 3s

27

If I go on an airline and they try to search me, I am going to talk dirty to them the whole time.

Is anyone else playing the gen 4 Pokemon games on DS? I am loving them. First time playing a Pokemon game since silver.

26

Is it just me or is pooping in a toilet that someone just cleaned very satisfying?

25

Today I saw a dog sniffing its own ass and then it farted. I felt obligated to pet it for being so awesome.

24

I am tempted to get a diamond genital piercing. I could say "Zip zip, bling bling". I am certain I would find that hilarious when wasted.

A question about writing

I have all these weird scenarios and characters in my head and I want to write them into novels and short stories, but I am not sure where to start. Do you guys have any advice?

23

Propositioning a female friend of mine: "I have inverted nipples. You have regular nipples. Lets put your nipples in my nipples and make children."

22

Sorry for abandoning this for a it. New Vegas came out, I got a DS and I had 3 midterms and two projects I had to do. Anyway, I said this in conversation to a friend without thinking:

'We should glue our foreskins together. Then I can be like "Sup, this is my twin brother Lance. We are from Siam"'

21

I am listening to folk metal while doing homework. System analysis has never felt so heroic.

20

Sorry I have been away for a while... I have been real busy with midterms and New Vegas.

Jahaha! I put a girl in the friend zone! Score one for gender equality!